Editor’s note: The following article contains references to suicide. If you or someone you know is feeling suicidal or wants to hurt themselves, please call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or 911 immediately.
BUCKHANNON – After tragically losing their son, a local family has set up a gofundme account to raise awareness about preteen suicide in hopes that other families will never have to experience the same grief they do each day.
Delilah Clyburn-Hill and husband John lost their son, 12-year-old Wesley Hill, on Jan. 25, 2021 when he died by suicide. As a result, they have established a gofundme fundraiser to raise money and bring awareness to preteen suicide.
Money raised via the page will go to the West Virginia Suicide Prevention Council to help with the cause of raising awareness about preteen suicide.
Clyburn-Hill said increased awareness is crucial because when preteens need help, they do not always show what would be considered normal signs of depression. She said Wesley never showed any signs of being suicidal.
The gofundme is ‘Wesley Hill Preteen Suicide Awareness Fund’ and has an initial goal of raising $10,000.
“At some point, I would like to see that amount grow,” Clyburn-Hill said. “I do not feel like people know that a preteen – one who is 10, 11 or 12 years old – would even think of doing something like that.”
One message Clyburn-Hill said she hopes people take away is the fact that everyone needs to talk to their kids. She said as parents, there are sometimes warning signs to look out for; however, some kids show no symptoms.
“I never thought with my son being 12-years-old that I needed to ask him if he had ever considered death by suicide,” she said. “It was the furthest thing from my mind. Wesley was always smiling and joking. He was always in a good mood. Before he went to bed that last night, we never saw anything that would indicate he was depressed.”
The National Suicide Prevention Hotline indicates teen and even preteen suicide is more common than many people believe: Death by suicide is the second leading cause of death for young people ages 10-24.
And while some preteens, like teens and adults, display more obvious signs of possible suicide, including intense sadness and giving away belongings, some signs might be as simple as changes in sleep and appetite or increased irritability.
According to information from the Boston Children’s Hospital and the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, warning signs that a preteen may be contemplating suicide include but are not limited to not caring about activities that used to matter to them; sleep disturbance (not sleeping or staying awake all night); risky behavior; lack of energy; declining school performance; acting anxious or agitated; increased irritability; and increasing withdrawal or isolating from friends and family.
Clyburn-Hill said right now, there is a lot of negativity in the world, so it’s critical to check on children’s health, both mental and physical.
“We found an assignment Wesley had written and in there he did detail that the worst part of the Covid-19 pandemic was that it kept people inside and away from other people,” she said. “Another biography he wrote told he was afraid of spiders, snakes and being alone for long periods of time. So, folks need to look at what their children are writing and looking up on the internet even though the kids do not like to be checked on.”
She said while adults and parents are working, they are still getting to interact with others.
“But the students may be at home for long periods of time and especially if they do not have cell phones or good internet reception, they are not able to communicate with their friends the way they did before Covid-19,” Clyburn-Hill said.
Clyburn-Hill said Wesley was a twin, and he attended Buckhannon-Upshur Middle School and Tennerton Elementary School before that.
“Wesley was always so funny and joking. He loved video games and enjoyed drawing. You hardly saw him when he did not have a smile on his face or was not trying to make other people laugh,” she said. “He was a really good kid. We moved to West Virginia in June 2019 and he was still in contact with his friends from where we lived before. He was such a likeable kid, and I am fortunate to have had so many people reach out to me to share how much they liked him and say what a wonderful heart he had and saying he was good inside and out.”
Clyburn-Hill said she hopes others will continue to check on their children and support the gofundme to help with awareness and prevention of preteen suicide.
“We could just mourn Wesley and never try to do anything; however, if this helps just one child, it is all worth it,” she said.
Prevent Suicide WV – West Virginia Suicide Prevention Council has information online at preventsuicidewv.com and the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is available 24-hours a day by calling 800-273-8255. Additional resources specifically tailored to youth include You Matter, a safe space for youth to discuss mental health and wellness; Active Minds, a nonprofit that supports mental health awareness and education for young adults; and the Trevor Project, which provides crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to LGBTQ youth.
